BOO!!!

Last year I had two, this year none. No, I'm not talking about cavities or strokes, I'm referring to Trick-Or-Treaters. I anxiously awaited the parade of ballerinas, hobos and cowboys to come knocking at my door, but it just didn't happen. Oh well, time for another Tootsie Roll Pop.

VROOM!

I grew up in a diversified neighborhood. Not ethnically or culturally different, but vehicularly diverse. We were the Chevy family. Across the street was the Buick family and their neighbors were the Fords. Their name was actually Prince, but their car was always a Ford. Next door to us were the Communists. They drove a Volkswagon. When a new vehicle was brought into the neighborhood nest, the men would mosey up to the driveway where the newest automobile entry was perched. The dealer sticker stayed pasted to the window so that the men could see what amenities the newest member had to offer. The price however was always scraped off. Show off but don't brag. These days I can't tell the fer-in-ers from the locals, perhaps because it was a kinder, gentler time. More likely it's because we now have more options.

It's Not A Bike, But A Scooter

Integrity and ethics were supposed to make a return to The White House. They took a back seat to loyality and cronyism.

Bye, Bye Miss American Pie

Harriet Miers has withdrawn her name from nomination for a position on The United States Supreme Court. I never really formulated an opionion about her ability to sit on the bench, I just thought that you people elected George, therefore he must know what he is doing. The breeze that is blowing from the fan pointed at the house of cards just keeps getting stronger.

The Emperor Ain't Wearing No Clothes

When reviewing some of the great scams of all time, more recent examples that come to mind would be the Enron scandal, assorted dot com companies, as well as the 2000 Bush election. But we can't over look what is perhaps the biggest hoax of all time - organized religion. Playing on peoples ignorance and fear of the unknown - like the K.K.K. and The House Un-American Activities Committee did - religion continues to keep people under it's oppressive thumb. Yes, the "Big G-Man" no longer requires the sacrifice of vestal virgins to keep him happy, he just wants cash. Lots and lots of cash. He has provided us with a plethera of messengers to act as middle men and keep the message, as well as their bank accounts alive and well. Jimmy Swaggert, Oral Roberts, as well as Dallas' own "Grifter Of God," Robert Tilton, are only a few of the spiritual con men that come to mind, but there are plenty of others to go around. I can't quite decide which is worse - the message or the messengers, sort of like the chicken or the egg - all I know is that it is doing more harm to people's physical and mental well being than we could ever imagine.

A Horse Is A Horse.....Of Course, Of Course

The American Troop death count in Iraq has passed the 2,000 mark, but in spite of that, George Bush said that we will stay the course over there. I do have one question however. What the Hell is our course over there?

Deep Thoughts

If you think that a weakness can be turned into a strength, I hate to tell you this, but that would be a weakness too.

Now I Know My A, B, C's

The National Hurricane Center has run out of English Alphabet letters to name their storms after - they don't use X, Y or Z and personally I think that is highly unfair to all the Xaviers, Yvonnes and Zeldas out there - so they are now using the Greek Alphabet. When they run out of those I understand that the Hurricanes will then be named after ex-husbands of Zsa Zsa Gabor.

ONE MORE TIME

I just received YET ANOTHER one of those e-mails telling me that I will be getting $245.00 for every time I forward the message to somebody else. This one has had more performances than "South Pacific." Oh yeah, it must be true because the story was told on "Good Morning America" just this morning. I did as I said I'd do in a previous BLOG posting. I sent the misguided individual an e-mail telling him that he was a fool and that if he didn't stop sending these annoying tidbits, I would be sending him numerous photos of obese women in seductive poses. So, one more time. You will not be receiving money from anyone for forwarding anything to anybody. You will not be charged for sending e-mails. Your cell phone number is not going to be put on a list so that soliciters can rack up your minutes. The FEDS will not be knocking down your door because you download some Nat King Cole music. Yes, I know that this is generally accepted knowledge, but I know of people who actually believe this crap. If you want to believe this, or that there is an elephant living in your closet, or that there is a God......fine. Just quit trying to sell it to me. And I thought it was annoying when a relative began selling Amway. Jeez.

Safe And Secure

Hurricane Wilma is making it's way through The Gulf Of Mexico and George Bush is taking all of the necessary precautions. He has made sure of the safety for all of Florida's crooked voting machines.

Deep Thoughts

Never do anything that you wouldn't want to have to explain to the paramedics.

Shut Up And Moondance

Michael Jackson received a summons this week to appear for jury duty. It is unlikely that he will have to serve considering that he has children living at home. Also living there happens to be his own kids.

A Rose By Any Other Name

Saddam Hussein appeared in court yesterday, denying all charges against him that he committed an array of attrocites and crimes against humanity, proclaiming that he is still the President. Hey, just like George Bush.

Bang, Bang......You're Broke

I can't decide if it's better when our illustrious President does nothing, or when he actually does something. Today he signed into legislation limits on monetary awards levied against gun manufacturers when one of their metallic penises actually kills somebody. Gee, I can sleep better tonight knowing that bomb I'm building won't be held against me when it blows up a bunch of people. Companies are leaving the country in droves because they can no longer afford to give their employees adequate health coverage, but "Colt" and "Smith And Wesson" - along with the N.R.A. - can sleep tonight knowing that when one of their toys blows the head off your spouse, they won't be held accountable for making them. Isn't America great?

Deep Thoughts

There are detergents made these days that can completely remove bloodstains from your shirt. If your clothing is soaked in blood, I think that laundry is not your biggest problem.

Deep Thoughts

Subtlety is the art of saying what you think and getting out of the way before it's understood.

The Fat Lady Ain't Singing Yet

Sporting more chins than a Chineese phone book, and since he has that hot line to the big "G" man in the sky, Jerry Falwell appeared on a C.N.N. broadcast to assure us all that even with the rash of natural disasters occuring, Our Heavenly Father ain't ready to pull the plug on us sinners yet. WHEW. I guess it's safe now to join the "Book Of The Month Club." Oh yeah Jerry, who do I make the check out to?

Deep Thoughts

Who discovered that you could get milk from cows and what the Hell did he think he was doing at the time?

Maybe I Should Get A Life

Perhaps I have too much time on my hands, but that character in the "Burger King" commercials really freaks me out. I mean, if he would pop up while I was looking out the window or step out from behind a tree, I seriously doubt that I would eat a sandwich he was trying to hand me. I wonder if there is a twelve step program for people like me. Oh well, back to my Bush bashing.

Deep Thoughts

Those who say that words can never hurt them have never been hit in the head with a dictionary.

Rock-A-Bye-Baby

If you are in search of a good fairy tale to read to your child at bed time tonight, I have a doozie for you. A friend sent me the web address to a site which tells the story of a great leader who has accomplished much in his life time, serving and protecting the people in his kingdom. Ironically, he has the same name as our President. When I read this biography of George Bush, released by The White House, my mouth dropped to the floor. I thought to myself, "Is this the same guy?" It regales the story of a compassionate man who has made all types of great strides in both his personal life as well as the lives of the people he governs. If you want to read this jaw dropping story, log on to http://www.google.com/ type in the word failure in the appropriate box and then click on the I'm Feeling Lucky box. See if you recognize THIS George Bush and get ready to laugh........or cry.

Deep Thoughts

I love humanity.....................It's people that I can't stand.

United We Stand, Divided We Fall

George Bush's Presidency has been successful in at least one area of American life. Unfortunately, that success has been in his ability to divide and alienate various factions within our Country. If you are not a white, heterosexual, Christian, pro-lifer with disposable income, good luck, because you are on your own. There are no life boats on board for you. America's success has come because of the strength of it's diversity working, learning and growing together. Pitting the assorted factions in our Nation against each other will only tear it down.

Praise The Lord, Drop Your Pants, Pass The Collection Plate

The Archdiocese of Los Angeles will be shelling out over 2 billion dollars to settle sexual molestation cases against more than 200 of it's priests. The Catholic Church's method of disciplining these perverted criminals has been to reassign them to another parish. I must be getting old. In my day, perverted criminals got locked up in a jail cell for an extended period of time.

Going, Going, Gone

George Bush's popularity rating in the polls is dropping faster than a rock going down a well. His job approval rating is now at 38%. Among African Americans, it is lower than for any President ever........at 2%. Less than a year ago, Americans gave him his first popular vote, Presidential election win, wanting George to lead, guide and protect us. Apparently, Americans are finally coming out of their collective coma. Let's see how much more damage he can do in his remaining 3 years in office.

Spank That Bible

Christianity wants us to believe that there is an invisible man in the sky who watches us 24 / 7. Nothing gets past the G-Man and in order to keep us informed of his rules, he provided us with a list of 10 commandments which we must adhere to. Violation of his rules will put us in a place filled with heat, fire and suffering for all eternity. Personally, I always felt that Hell was a gay bar filled with music, dancing and liquor and populated by a bunch of beautiful people. Oh yeah, I musn't forget, he needs us to keep on giving him a butt-load of money.

I Love Hillary

When Hillary Clinton's name comes up in any venue, you hear an assortment of complaints and grumblings. The funny thing is that none of the people airing their grievances can come up with just one legitimate reason as to why they don't like her. Giving reasons like "she's a bitch," or "she can't control her husband," just don't cut it. Perhaps, people who don't like her are small minded individuals who feel threatened by an intelligent, capable woman. That, or they are just sexist pigs who need to learn some manners and aquire a few brain cells.

You Say Tomato, I Say..........Broken. Electric Can Opener

In the early days of the Bush Administration, the word that came to my mind to describe the atmosphere in the Capitol was ARROGANT. As his time progressed as our Commander In Chief, the word that came to my mind was INCOMPETANT. When the plug was about to be pulled on Terry Schiavo, George rushed back to Washington D.C. in order to do something about this horrendous attrocity (sarcasm), however, when Hurricane Katrina began it's destruction along the Gulf Coast, George continued his extended vacation at his ranch in Texas, choosing to do nothing. Apparently, appeasing his support base represented by the fruit cakes holding vigil outside the comatose woman's hospital room is more important than saving the lives of a bunch of 'po black folk living in the South. Hello George, you were elected to serve and protect all Americans. Cronyism is alive and well in this Administration as well, clearly represented by choosing Michael Moore, previously an Arabian Horse Show official, to head F.E.M.A. He happens to be a former college roommate of the man he replaced, who by the way, is making money hand over fist supplying various agencies with needed provisions. And while I am on the subjest of incompetancy, what the Hell are we doing in Iraq? There has never been a clear purpose as to why we are there, yet talented, viable American soldiers stationed in that nation continue to lose their lives at the hands of some terribly misguided Iraqis who feel that it is their divine obligation to strap a bunch of dynamite to themselves and drive into a school or marketplace and blow up a bunch of people in the name of their God. Apparently, George was asleep in History Class when the subject of the Viet Nam War was discussed. As far as our economy goes, I suggest that a good plumber gets called because it is really stuck in the toilet. George wants no part of the Democratic staple of "tax and spend," choosing the Republican way of "borrow and spend," having borrowed us to the tune of 7 trllion dollars. You people who voted for George to be our President made a grave mistake. It will take years to clean up the mess after he's gone.

HA-TEE

There really hasn't been a male media sex symbol since Brad Pitt jumped up and down on Geena Davis' motel room bed in "Thelma And Louise." So, I would now like to nominate a new member to the club. C.N.N.'s Anderson Cooper. He is intelligent, self depreciating, attractive, comes from good stock - his mother is Gloria Vanderbelt - plus he is not afraid to hang out in a Hurricane. Oh yeah, he has a very formidable nose too.

Deep Thoughts

I can't decide if it is better when George Bush does nothing or when he does something.

Deep Thoughts

It takes a big man to cry. It takes an even bigger man to laugh at that man.

No Ozzie, Just Harriet

Harriet Miers is George Bush's latest nominee to the Supreme Court and little is known about her since she has never presided as a Judge before. But then, this Administration loves to appoint people to positions for which they have no experience. I understand that she had a walk-on part on "Matlock" and was given a glowing letter of recommendation from Michael Brown however. She is from Dallas....a plus for some reason. Rush Limbaugh blasted her nomination on his radio broadcast today....a BIG plus for obvious reasons.

Don't Delay Tom

New, additional charges have been brought against House Majority Leader Tom DeLay. You can now add money laundering to the ever increasing list of charges against him. I think that the only thing he HASN'T done is rip the tag off his mattress.