Don't Kick The Puppy

During my youth I readily admit to participating in some of the antics associated with my age. The use of telephones and toilet paper were intrical in these hijinks. Asking tobacco shops if they had Prince Albert in a can or calling relatives and inquiring whether their refridgerator was running were real knee slappers. I never got involved with shop lifting, assault or theft however. I like to think that was because of my strong moral standards, but it was more likely due to the fact that I really feared any possible ramifications of my actions. I recently heard of the theft of a park bench from the yard of some friends. Now I know that this was not the crime of the century, yet it really pissed me off. The bench never harmed anyone - it only wanted to look nice and be a comfortable place for people to sit. I hope that the thief has a miserable life and that assorted appendages on his body rot and fall off. He can also burn in Hell.